End of an Era!

I opened the door and saw my sister holding it in her arms. It was possibly the ‘yellowest’ dog I had ever seen. Dirty and dusty. It looked scared. As soon as she dropped it on the floor, the dog ran and hid under the dining table. My sister then told me that it’s a female spitz that was lying on the vet’s table at the dog shelter and was up for adoption. I called her out and patted her dirty thick fur. My sister took her for a shower and she came out all so clean. That’s when I realized she was one of the prettiest little things! We noticed that she was a lazy one with drug, beautiful eyes, so we named her ‘Ginie’ after ‘Gin’. And she became the best part of my life!

We took care of her food, she hated pedigree! Trained her to poop on the terrace and she was quick! She was the laziest bitch! Never ate food on her own, I hand fed her and bare her tantrums! It felt like raising a child. I loved it! One day, as I had lunch on the dining table I heard a knocking sound. It came from under the table. I bent and looked, it was Ginie. She was shivering and her body stiff. White saliva coming out of her mouth and her eyes wide open! It was a scary sight. Only later, Rashi told me about her sickness. Ginie was epileptic. The doctor told her this was to happen but the sweetheart was too cute to let her sickness keep anybody from her!

We lived with it. Her treatment started. The doctor gave medicines that were to be given for a lifetime. Rashi had left for her new job in Mumbai. Ginie was totally my responsibility now. As the time passed, her problem became serious. Hence, more medicines, even more dizziness! But she was a fighter. She experienced a cycle of fitts every month for 3 whole days. The shivering body and unconsciousness after every 3-4 hours, was a lot of pain to herself and my heart. Those 3 days were the hardest time of the month for me. Yes! Even harder to take than my periods! As soon as she recovered a little consciousness after every fitt, she walked and hogged like a stray. “Ginie! Ginie!” called me and mom just to try and make things easier for her. But of course, she was too dazed out! I remember the first few months, I cried every time she experienced a fitt. She was a little child and it was painful to see her in pain. But gradually, I had become strong. Very strong!

Once, I gave her food in her bowl. She was hungry, I could tell. She came running and sat right in front of her bowl and looked at it. I started walking around the house, doing my thing. After a pretty while, I looked at her as she looked at her food, then at me, then again food, and then again at me! I smiled and hand fed her until she finished it all. She was one spoilt bitch! I used to kiss her forehead and tell her “what will I do without you?” and she looked at me like a dumb little dog! She really was quite dumb! If I called her from my room in one end, she would go running to meet mom in the other end. If she climbed 2 stairs, tumbled 4! If you tell her to shake with her right hand, she’d lye down! She was a unique piece!

Ginie loved to go for long drives. We had a Maruti Esteem and Ginie loved to sit at the back window, where people usually keep there stuff toys for show, Ginie was the cutest moving stuffy! Never had I ever seen any dog sitting so quietly and enjoying the drive. Our annual Mussoorie trips were her favourite too! I guess she loved the weather. Once, it snowed there. All my family went to the terrace to play with the snow. I took Ginie along and let her be. She ran from one end to another, so excited to see the snow. But like always, her excitement was just for a small moment. She used to be in such a laze (thanks to her never-ending medicines) that she could never run or play for more than 5 minutes. I used to see other’s dogs, so active and playful. But I wouldn’t have exchanged my baby for ANY other in this world!

It was that time of the month again. She started experiencing fitts. But, only this time she had one right after another in a 10 minutes gap! I was failed to understand. She could not walk after that, at all! But hey, here comes another one! And one right after that! It was a moment of panic. Ginie had had 6 fitts in 25 minutes! I called my dad and took her to the vet. While on the drive, she had one on my lap too. She used be so faint that she peed unconsciously, and on me too. But she was my child. I took it as a baby’s leak. The vet gave her Anastasia and she lied into my arms. I came home and put her into her bed and watched her sleep. Her peace meant a lot to me.

26^th October 2010

It was her 6^th birthday at home. Like every year, we had got cake and a tiara for her! Her eyes used to letch at the cake. She loved it! And that was one of the days when she was allowed to eat sweet! That is the day I saw ‘Marley and me’ on TV. It was too sad to see the dog die in the end. Honestly, I did cry. I hugged Ginie tight that night and said ‘what will I do without you?’. And again she looked at me like a dumb little dog. My girl was experiencing her periods. It had been more than two weeks. That’s a lot more days than what she usually experienced in every 6 months. So, I took her to the vet the next day. It seems like Ginie was born with bad luck. Her uterus was severely infected. The doctor called her in for next 5 days to give her 2 injections per session. She was also inserted a medicine in her uterus through a long ‘rod’ like instrument. She used to scream in pain, I held her tight. Now that’s a lot of needles and dizziness! But her bleeding did not stop. My home smelled like a hospital.

After consulting 3 doctors and getting her endless injections and medicines and an x-ray and a blood test, our regular vet finally said we need to do surgery! My heart pounced. ‘A surgery!’. It was Diwali in 2 days and we had to go to Agra, like every year, to my grand dad. I took a 5 days permission from the vet and he in return gave some medicines (again) for/till the time we got back for the surgery.

It was time for Diwali prayers and I prayed for a miracle. And believe it or not, the very next day Ginie had stopped bleeding! After 45 days, everybody in the house took a sigh of relief. This meant no surgery! We returned happily and got back to our daily routines. It had become cold so I pulled out Ginie’s coat from the cupboard and put on her. She always looked like a smart dog in that red, collared coat. Ginie had become anemic for all the blood loss, but I thought it was temporary.

15^th November 2010

It had been a week and Ginie hadn’t barked! The house was too silent. I took her to the balcony in the morning and forced her to bark. You know, the same old ‘shooo that!’ technique. It worked! Finally, my baby barked. I had plans to catch ‘social network’ with a friend that day. So I got ready, waiting for her to come. Ginie was doing her usual thing now. She used to run in excitement, barking her guts out and come back and lye again as if she’s worked at the mines! Mom had asked me to feed her before I leave, and I had passed that order to my younger brother. I was already running late, so as soon as my friend came to pick me up, we left. I don’t remember saying bye to Ginie. That had happened before.

I was inside the theatre, it had only been 20 minutes in there.  My phone rang. It was my brother. He usually calls me to ask if I’ve fed Ginie before leaving. So I text him to text me back. But he was calling again and again. I went outside the theatre and called him, only to find him crying out loud. I remember my heart skipped a beat as he said ‘Chani come home. Something’s wrong with Ginie. She’s not moving, at all!’.  I asked my friend to give me a ride back home. I was petrified! I called back to check again and told my brother that I’ll be there the soonest I can. And all he said ‘Let it be, she’s gone!’ It was one of the things I never ever wanted to hear. Ginie was dead. My little baby had left me. The crying was uncontrollable then. There was too much traffic on the road. I cried and cried, but nothing worked, of course! As my friend drove, honked and tried to take care of me, my world had shattered, it seemed. I was so numb to listen to the horns or see the red light. It was the longest 15 minutes of my life. As she parked the car, I ran. And I ran! I had asked dad to take Ginie to the vet, hoping it was just another faint. I remember my fingers had become stiff, I guess my blood pressure dropped. I reached home and could hardly speak. I tried. Brother said that dad had taken her to the vet. I fell into his arms and broke, completely!

The bell rang. They were here. My second brother came to me and gave her into my arms. So lifeless! I hugged Ginie and burst. I could feel her icy cold face against mine. I had seen her sleeping, had seen her faint too. But to see her dead, was the worst sight of my life! I cried ‘what will I do without you Ginoo? What will I do without you?’. And I waited for that dumb look, but in vain. My baby had walked 6 years of her life hand-to-hand with pain. As I said, she really was a fighter! My dad slipped a spoon of ‘amrit’ in her mouth and took her away from me. It was time for her burial. As they went down the stairs, I could only see Ginie’s foot coming out of the blanket she was wrapped in. I felt like I’ve lost a child. And I really have.

I've got the power!

It’s a saying that ‘in order to motivate other people, you first have to be motivated yourself!’ and well, that makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? The urge to motivate, inspire, influence, convince, persuade and make believe, everything arises from a sense of expectation. Expect to change. To see a better world, better tomorrow!

India! The land of miracles! A country, so rich in culture, diversity and faith! A nation that is fighting day and night, inside and outside, to stand on its feet, after being ruled by the British for 200 years! India, that gives every Indian, at least a hundred reasons, to be proud of their country! But, are you, really? If the answer is yes, with no doubts at all, it means you hold a positive nerve and a sense of belief. It means you have faith, that in spite of all the loopholes, the country is holding on to itself, and moving on with faith. You are empowered to influence people around you, with the same. Patriotism comes from this power!

And unfortunately, if you feel that your answer is no, take a minute to think why?

Have you ever felt low about yourself? And how did that happen? You criticize yourself a lot? Or you think you are not competent enough? Or your partner thinks nothing can make you look better? Or your boss thinks no matter how hard you try, you can’t become efficient enough? Or your coach says you can never match up and compete with the rest of the contestants?

Time up! Lack of confidence, over-criticism, under-estimation, not only they make you lose faith in yourself, but also your country. Yes, it's yet another 'feel pride in being an Indian' attempt.

India is huge! It is very obvious that it will carry a lot of electrons!(negatively charged particles) A nation is made by its citizens, the people. And people work, when they are motivated, when they are told good things. So first, think positive, say positive. And tell your friends why they should be proud, tell people not to give up on India! They say ‘no’, you argue ‘yes’! Patriotism is a power. Use it! As it was once said “India works! The people make it work!” (Wink)

Strength of the skies!

Eve,you were there.I am here.

The mankind is to you.

Oh Mother Mary!Bless me.You are my school. You are holy.

Protect me my sister. My best friend.

My child,my daughter,I am proud of you.

Your smile is the answer. Sunshine!

That frown is a question.Worried you are.

My ‘Kaali’.The destroyer of evil.

That love you give my ‘Savitri’,I am hungry!

My Mother Teresa.Peace!

The joy.Spread elementary.

End this world Shiva’s eye!
‘Draupadi’you laugh.’Mahabharat’ betide.
‘Ram’ wants you.’Raavan’ wants you.
You are a queen..’Manikarnika’ you are.
You sway.You glide.
Oh woman!The earth.You are the sky!

Let's try!

Everybody dreams of their perfect future.A successful life,huge bungalow,luxury cars,healthy family and to add to that perfection - a pet. Obviously like everybody else,I dream of the same.But to add to my perfect future,I have always wanted that perfect animal to be my pet - Great,Gracious and Gorgeous : Tiger!


Yes! A Royal Bengal tiger in my 'Oh! So pretty farm-house' shall complete my idea of perfect future! And I'm not just cooking it up.I'm sure of what I'm saying and I'm sure its not impossible.BUT! the insecurity that these beautiful creatures are in,I see a possibility that it might become very difficult.Imperiled,these species are,and as everybody probably already knows that from around 40,000 at the turn of the last century, there are just 1,411 tigers left in India! I have many years in hand to achieve this dream.But will they be available at all by that time?! The scarcity is increasing,and its scary.If we don’t act now, we could lose this part of our heritage forever!


Tiger is our national animal.They are astoundingly beautiful!It is every Indian's duty to do every little bit to save them from extinction.Do you know Asia is most responsible for this wildlife being in danger?! China trades all animal skins at a large scale,Malaysian Islamic party has given out 'shoot at sight' orders,the huge cat is a 'yummy delicacy' in many parts of the continent and also the world,and there are many more cases.But it is time we wake up!It is bootless having it as our national animal if we together can't save it.It's significance can't be taken for granted!


Tigers are disappearing for several reasons:


Destruction of habitat : Stop deforestation!
Poaching : Stop smuggling!
Disappearance of animals tigers prey on : We all need food for life!


Why do we need to save them?! Tigers are important for many reasons:


They are at the top of the food chain of large ecosystems,and thus if they disappear,the whole ecosystem,with all it's plants and animals and even the people who are dependant on them,is put in jeopardy!
The cat has been a vibrant part of human cultural,religious and social history.
Do we really need reasons to save such a gorgeous piece of wildlife?!


They say 'the first step towards change is awareness'.This post is only posted with an intention to spread some awareness and contribute my bit,as any tiny contribution will make a little difference.I want my dream to come true one fine day.And the day shall come.Let's try!


Reference majorly taken from http://www.forevertigers.com/ and http://www.saveourtigers.com/ .

Inked for life!!

5Th October,2008.The day i marked myself with the name of God.I marked myself with a strong belief.I had always wanted a tattoo and i always knew what i wanted.'Ek Omkar' is a Sikh symbolic which means 'God is one'.Yes! it might sound strange to my friends who did not know i was so religious.But,Ek Omkar to me means more than just a religious symbol.It is not only about going to gurudwaras and reading holy books.Look around and you'll notice.All your friends worship different Gods.They go to temples,mosques,churches and of course you've been there with them.You follow what they do there and with equal respect and faith.This is oneness in God and you know you believe in the same.
Well,my post is not about what Ek Omkar really means,but to express my view on what people think of tattoos and especially religious ones.I hope it doesn't sound blasphemous.According to what i have read on the Internet,getting a religious tattoo is an act against the preachings of our Gods.Sikhism is about growing inner faith for God and showing it off through a tattoo is completely going against it.According to what i think,Sikhism is definitely about growing inner faith for God but a tattoo is a conviction.If they say it is not to be 'shown off',then why are there obvious restrictions for the people of the community.Flaunting of chains,belts,bracelets and more accessories has never been given such a thought,so what's wrong with a tattoo?!A person goes through all the pain to be marked with His name and people protest against it.Mandira Bedi happens to have the same tattoo like mine and she had to officially apologise to the Sikh authority for sporting it on the back.Her apology was accepted because the letter said that she has the tattoo simply because she is proud to be a Sikh.


The bible warns us against tattoos.It says "ye shall not make any cuttings in the flesh for the dead,nor print or tattoo any marks upon you:I am the Lord".It says that one must not do anything to modify or change what our God gave us.Well, i guess hair is something which is given by our Gods,how come we cut hair?!how come we cut our nails?! Stupid,what i am saying might sound,but logical!I respect the bible and the Lord and my tattoo says 'God is one'!
A tattoo is no mistake and I am proud of mine.People have different perceptions and accept things in different ways.But,the point is,they need to accept!!

The right track

OK!..it's been a year!!that's right.one whole year since i have been writing.to start with,i would just like to say,for all those who have made this blog a success for me-the visitors,the readers and my friends,who just read it because i asked them to,thank you! if you have read my first post 'astrology-makes you or breaks you?!?!',then only,will you understand this one.so please,check out my first post and then come back to this one!


right!since you know what has happened a year back and what exactly was my,as they call it,'state of mind',this post could be taken as a sequel to the first one.but,i want to clear this to everybody,i am neither writing about astrology nor about my dad.


the year taught me a lot! i won't be saying that it was JIMS,but,it was surely my friends,my seniors and a few,i repeat,a few of my teachers who made me realise that probably i am not half as bad for mass communication,media and journalism.


in the beginning,i was very confused.so many questions in my mind-what am i doing here?!,why?!,what am i going to do?!,what about fashion?!,blah blah blah.....and of course,no answer! i was attending college just to experience a 'regular college life'.made some really good friends and was having fun with them.


i soon noticed my writing skill.won't say its the best,but i was always appreciated.one of the examples could be this very blog! in college,wrote a lot of of reports,press releases,quotes,articles etc. for a lot of events.i realised that i like to write and people like it when i do.i thought,maybe that's what has brought me here.i started taking print media as a serious career option.but,i don't know if i still do!!!


one fine day,my seniors announced that they are starting a student's theatre group.classes will be held every weekend,decent timings and will practice one play at a time.well,i thought it will be nice to come out of the house every weekend and do something i have always enjoyed doing-'nautanki!'.it seemed like a nice activity to do every weekend,so i was game for it.we,a group of 20 something people called The Creative Factory,used to meet at Father Agnel's School and practice.we had our voice modulation sessions,scream out,whisper,laugh,cry,etc. etc. and we practiced and almost completed one of the most talked about plays in the industry 'jis lahore nai vekhya,oh jamiya hi nai',by safdar hashmi.i was,since then,tagged as Hameeda Begum,one of the crucial characters of the play.got a lot of appreciations for that as well.soon,we did a lot of work professionally.street plays for Hindustan Times-i love Delhi carnival was the biggest achievement of all,which brought in popularity and success! it was a great feeling when people came to us after every show and congratulated us.i remember how people read the timings in the newspaper and showed up before time.some asked us to do it again and some said "you guys are great,i watched all your shows today!".all our collars up!we did a lot in college as well.The Creative Factory became a success! and now i can proudly say that i am a government recognised theatre artist(by the ministry of information and broadcasting).all this made me think 'how about theatre?!?!'.though,i am still crazy about it,but,making it a profession...i don't know.


my friends and seniors made a lot of movies and i became a part of them as well.since i enjoy acting,i,along with my friends,worked really hard.hence,siyah khoobsurati and parasite were really appreciated.also,intersecting lines,our next project has been shot successfully and will be soon premiered in college once edited.a few friends of mine want me to consider acting seriously and do something about it.but,again,how serious am i?!?!...i don't know.


i am always surrounded by aspiring directors,writers and editors.so,it has encouraged me to innovate new ideas.and since,my brain has an active thought process,i have written down certain concepts into scripts.i plan to make these scripts into short films by putting in some effort of direction.i won't say "i am appreciated" this time (lol) because i have not yet taken any step further,neither have i discussed it with anybody.though,i will soon.but,is direction or scripting my potential career?!?!...i don't know.


so,it's been a year.2 years are still to go.i still have a lot to experience and learn.i am happy.i am enjoying.i am content.but,the decision made,a year back-how well is that going?!?!...i don't know.so many questions in my mind-what am i doing here?!,why?!,what am i going to do?! blah blah blah.....but,i know i am on the right track because the question 'what about fashion?!',just doesn't exist!if you don't understand what it means...it means i have no regrets and that's what matters!!!

An ode

it takes time to know people better and make friends.

Friends so truthful,friends so helpful,
friends who appreciate,who criticise,
friends who make you laugh and they are always there-
they make you realise!

new in college,we all were.a lot of communication gaps,attitude,misunderstandings,differences and distances.it was only possible for all of us to be together,if we worked together.i did manage to make some good friends but i was more thankful to The Creative Factory to happen.it was great to know that some of my classmates shared the same interests as i did.theme plays,stage shows,street theatre and movies,we all worked together and shared a lot of experience.if we worked fr 5 hours,it was a must for us to chill out for at least 2 hours!this was actually the time for us to bond with each other.and this was the time when i realised,or shall i say we realised,that not only was he a talent,but also a great guy!

during the practice sessions of one of our first plays,we realised,though given just a couple of lines to speak,he always did a great job!he was one of the funniest guys in our comic act 'gawahi'.very interactive and talented in street theatre.made some really good movies(proud to be one of his first actors),but more than anything else,it was always wonderful to have him around.a pure heart,principles,a great sense of humour,a positive approach towards life-he had it all!

he was one of those few who always used to appreciate my work and also...criticise.he shared some of his future plans with me.i still remember our 'khayali pulao pakao' sessions where we used to think and discuss our acting and directorial plans.he had certain principles in life that made him the guy he was.if you take a look at his orkut profile,it still says-'mujhe dosti karna pasand hai...dosto se,matlabio se nahi'.A bit filmy,and may be that's the reason we thought he would be a success in the industry one day!

31st may,2008.i was at a nearby market place with family when i came to know about what happened.two of my classmates lost their lives in a train accident.an accident we all could have never imagined of.the two were cut by a train on the tracks right behind the dhaba where we all shared some of the most funnest times together.i didn't know Manish that well personally,though i feel equally sad and sorry,but Ashar-i dedicate this post to him.he was a very talented actor,director,editor...but above all,an amazing person.i am glad that i came across such a guy and made him my friend.miss you Ashar!

'koi hass kar mujhse meri jaan bhi maang le...par dhoka dene walo ko main chhodta nahi'. -Ashar Naseeri

MAY THE BOTH REST IN PEACE!